Topic Overview

After a major loss, you may feel insecure and unsure about yourself. Maintaining relationships may be a struggle at this time. You may have a difficult time making decisions, paying attention to what others are saying, or taking care of your personal responsibilities. Later, you may not remember some of the events happening around you.

These feelings are expected after a major life change. It takes time to adjust and return to a state of balance after you have become upset by a major life event.

If you are feeling insecure and lost, it is best to:

• Write down things that you want to remember.
• Postpone major decisions or changes in your life.
• Ask for help from other people if you are confused and can’t seem to get things done.
• Gather as much information as you can about what is happening. Do not try to understand more than you can tolerate. If you start to get lost in someone’s discussion or explanation, ask them to stop and plan a time to talk later.
• Keep a written account of important events and facts and read them to yourself throughout the day if you are having a hard time taking it all in.

Getting help

Call 911 or other emergency services immediately if you are preoccupied with thoughts of death and have strong urges to hurt or kill yourself.

If your feelings of insecurity frighten you or if you find yourself in dangerous situations (such as walking city streets alone at night), talk with a trusted friend, clergy person, mental health professional, or your doctor about what is happening to you.

Call your doctor if you are not able to sleep or prepare meals for yourself.